ASHTYN’S WORLD | Come with me to the wonderful world of New Caney

EDITOR’S NOTE: The views / opinions / suppositions expressed by Ms. Ashtyn Lucas in this column do not necessarily reflect the views by the rest of the ETBlitz.com staff. 😂

NEW CANEY – Here we are yet again.  

Tonight, I am writing from Randall Reed Stadium. At this very minute, Kilgore and La Vernia kick off in exactly 35 minutes.  

Let me just say, I hate car rides. My dad’s side of the family used to live in Tuscaloosa, Alabama (shocker I know), which is exactly a seven-hour drive from Kilgore. Now they all live in Columbus, Mississippi, which is also about a six-hour drive from Kilgore.  

Ever since Jacob, my brother, and I were little, we always got car sick whenever we would drive that far.  

New Caney ISD was around a 3-hour drive from Kilgore.  

Whenever Kilgore plays far away it is pretty much a tradition for us to ride with our good friend Dereck Borders.  

I’m sure that most of you that are from Kilgore know Dereck. He is a school board member and quite honestly probably the funniest person that has ever walked this planet.  

Whenever we ride with Dereck, we all call the car “The Happy Bus.” Now The Happy Bus has one rule: “Whatever is said in The Happy Bus stays in The Happy Bus.” Take that as you want to take it. Some of my greatest laughs have been on The Happy Bus on the way home after dancing.  

I have been to New Caney several times. Almost every single time until this one, I have been performing as a Hi-Stepper. Just like my last column, this is a very different experience.  

Well, if you’re at the same game that I am at, you are probably soaking wet right about now. I think this goes without saying because it’s common sense. Rain might be fun weather to watch football be played in, but it is not good football weather. Rain is not good sports weather.  

Needless to say, I am expecting a lot of fumbles and incomplete passes during this game. I’m sitting in the press box with Mitch Lucas (obviously), Joe Hale, Brandon Ogden, Dereck Borders, and a writer from the San Antonio Express News.  

I was watching warm-ups earlier and I said that I had seen more dropped balls during those few minutes that I had ever seen in my entire life.  

FYI: growing up with my mom being a Dallas Cowboys fan,  I’ve seen A LOT of dropped passes. Thank God whenever I was little, I found out I shared a birthday with Aaron Rogers, so I automatically became a Green Bay fan.  

For those of you who read my column last week, I am very happy to report that Cade Pippen, Joey Pippen, and Jay Dean are not dressed up as Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.  

For those of you who were like me and did not know much about La Vernia, or that even such a place existed, La Vernia’s mascot is the bears.  

Most mascots stay with their cheerleaders on the field, cheering on the team from the turf and encouraging the crowd to get loud with them.  

Not these mascots. There are two bears – the La Vernia kind – walking around in the crowd visiting with students, being friendly, taking pictures with little kids, stuff like that. 

This is going to make me sound like a terrible person, but the writer next to me and myself got quite a kick out of the thought of one of those mascots tumbling down the stadium stands.  

It really is not funny at all because that would be insanely painful. (Keep in mind how big Randall Reed Stadium is). The only reason we were able to laugh at it was because it did not actually happen. Thank goodness.  

Whenever I was in school, I obviously loved watching football. I am going to out someone and I do it with so much love: Maddi Grace Riley.  

I will never forget being in the stands with you and every single week without fail from freshman year to senior year. You looking at me after every flag thrown, every two-point conversion, every safety, and then asking me or simply giving me a “what the heck just happened” glance.  

With that being said, we see all of these football players wearing several different bands around their arms and legs, T-shirts hanging out of their pants, unnecessary random pieces of tape.  

From the press box, there is nothing I hate more than “football drip,” because another thing they love to do is roll up their jersey, which may be the dumbest thing I have ever seen in my life. Once again growing up with my mom being a Dallas Cowboys fan I have seen A LOT of dumb things in my life.  

Please – for the love of everything – someone, anyone, tell the players that whenever they roll up their jerseys like that, no one can see their numbers.  

Like HELLO, maybe they’ll realize that after they make a fantastic play and no one can see their number, we won’t actually know who made the play.  

Well, I once again was observing the sidelines, you would think by now I would have learned my lesson.  

Anywhoosies…

I was watching the La Vernia sidelines and instead of another Alvin, Simon, and Theodore, I see two bright colored hats, one neon green and the other neon orange, which is great, do whatever you need to do to be seen by your players.  

However, these two coaches had two players standing behind them, one player was standing behind one coach and the other player standing behind the other coach.  

These players were holding squared posters right behind the coaches’ heads. One was white and one was blue, La Vernia’s school colors.  

I understand the hats, but why get posters that are your schools colors? I also really hope that I see these two players on the field and that holding posters is not their only talent.  

I also just want to go off the record and say Time. Flies.  

Many of y’all that know me know that I graduated from Kilgore High School in May, 2023. This is the second football season since I have graduated. I know what some of y’all are going to say: “Ashtyn just wait, it gets worse.” Oh, believe me, I am dreading it.  

I went to school with some of the current players, cheerleaders, and Hi-Steppers. I simply cannot believe that they are fixing to be graduating, or are fixing to be seniors.  

Speaking of which, Kenzie Miller was my drill team sister whenever I was a senior and she was just a baby fish. Now she is going to be experiencing her senior year and many lasts this time next year. I cannot wait to see the Hi-Steppers be able to perform at AT&T Stadium, if Kilgore is able to win this game.  

It is currently 17-0 Kilgore, with 25 seconds left in the first half of the game. In those 25 seconds, La Vernia was able to put their first touchdown on the board, leaving the score 17-7 Kilgore at halftime.  

Last time I wrote a column, I talked about stuff that you hear on the field from football players. This time I think I am going to talk about coach’s body language 

I think we all know that coaches have a bit of a temper, or as I like to call it, anger issues. It’s OK for me to say that because I have them.  

Whenever I was little and I would not get my way, I would simply hold my breath until I passed out. Apparently, I would do this quite often, at least two times a week. 

One time I did this in the garage and my mom reached for my arm and yanked me up so that I wouldn’t hit my head on the floor. Now my left shoulder pops funny, maybe it’s related, who knows.  

The first time Jacob saw me do this, he thought I died, which now makes me awful, even though he still calls me an idiot for it to this day.  

I know this has to surprise most of y’all, not really, the red hair gives it away so I’ve been told.  

Enough about me, let’s talk about the coaches.  

For instance, whenever I played volleyball, my coach went through many clipboards, not because she wanted a different color or anything like that, oh no. It was because she quite literally broke them over her knee.  

Needless to say, we did not have a very good record that year.  

Once again, I don’t know how much attention y’all pay to the sidelines, but for entertainment purposes I absolutely recommend doing so. 

Coach Clint Fuller is a very amazing coach and has such an eye for the game. However, he absolutely terrifies me.

When I was little, I would hang out with Addison Wood quite a bit. I would stay at her house and we would do what any third graders would do. Of course, I am talking none other than jumping on her trampoline, playing with toys in her room, and pranking her family members.  

One time we decided to prank one of her older brothers, Jarod. We hid in his room behind his closet door and he walked in and we would make just a tiny noise in the closet. After doing this a few times, he decided to go tell his dad, Mike “Woody” Wood.  

Well, the second they came in the room we jumped out at Jarod, and other than my brother I have never heard a man scream in a higher pitch than a woman like that.  

Another time, we saw her dad sleeping on the couch and we got the bright idea to get whipped cream and put it in his hand. Then we tickled his nose, and the next thing we knew, whipped cream was everywhere.  

When Woody was still coaching at Kilgore (he’s now the athletic director), my brother played for him. Whenever I told Jacob this story, I thought Jacob had seen a ghost. He could not believe Addi and I did such a thing.  

However, I must say, I could not imagine doing that to Coach Fuller.  

This game is currently 24-7 Kilgore, just about to start the fourth quarter.  

So far guys I am sad to report that the two players who I talked about holding the posters behind the coaches’ heads have still not gone in the game. #Justicefortheposterholders 

On another note, in my last column I talked about Alabama and their playoff chances. I just want to say I think my 15-year-old dog, Sammy, who has one eye, could have seen that SMU does not play anyone.  

Next year I think big schools like Alabama, Texas A&M, Texas, etc., should cancel all their games and schedule teams like Little Sisters of the Poor, Tyler Junior College, and the ETBlitz Superstar team which consists of Mitchie, Dereck, Joe Hale, Sammy (the one-eyed dog), and myself.  

If strength of schedule does not matter and it is only about your record, what is the point. I am not saying your record does not matter at all, but I will give anyone $20 that can list me three solid teams that SMU played.

I’ll wait.  

Or even better, someone please give me a logical reason as to why SMU was ranked over Clemson after Clemson beat them.  

I’m still waiting.

I guess people say bad losses vs. no good wins.  

Sounds idiotic if you ask me.  

The current score here is 31-13 Kilgore, with 3:36 left in the fourth quarter. I am honestly surprised to say that there have been zero turnovers in this game so far. There was one fumble by La Vernia that La Vernia recovered.  

I kid you not, as I was writing that last sentence I look up and La Vernia drops back and throws an interception to Ja’Kalen Sheffield and he proceeds to run it to the 2-yard-line.  

Touchdown Kilgore (Isaiah Watters, No. 5) and the extra point kicked by Eddie Jiminez making the score 38-13 Kilgore, with 1:51 left in the fourth quarter.  

Ironically, I will be back in AT&T Stadium next week after Kilgore finished the game with a 38-13 win, heading to the state championship for the first time since 2013. Congratulations, guys!

Hope to see y’all there. If you see me, come up and say ‘hey.’